Why i gained weight and other questions people are too scared to ask

21:14 Rachel brown 0 Comments

Over the last year or so I've gained over 5 stone and hit the heaviest I've ever been.I'm constantly being ridiculed by people who think i got this way by being lazy and constantly eating so i thought i'd make a blog post to explain why i gained weight and the affects it's had on me mentally and physically.

Why did you gain so much weight?
Last May i had my nose broken which left me incredibly paranoid about my appearance,depressed and sent my anxiety through the roof.Due to my mental health becoming so bad, it meant i was unable to sleep and when i did i was plagued by nightmares of the people i loved dying or horrific things happening.My doctor ended up prescribing me a mixture of sleeping tablets and antidepressants to try and help my mental health.The sleeping tablets i was on are notorious for causing extreme weight gain and personally it felt like i was never full.I was on those tablets about roughly 6 months which is when i gained the majority of the weight.Even after i was slowly taken off the tablets the side effects where still there.

What effect has this had on your mental health?
Sadly the weight gain has made my anxiety and depression worse than it was to start with.I hate the way my body has become and even though i always try to slap on a smile when i go on nights out etc inside i'm dying as i constantly feel people are staring and speaking about me.This also means i try to spend as little time outside as i possibly can which obviously isn't great for working or socializing.

What effect has this had on your physical health?
Generally my physical health is pretty good.I try to get my blood pressure etc check every few months and they've always been spot on.My knees however have taken the most impact as even before the weight gain my knees where a problem as i have very little cartilage left in my right knee and my left knee is becoming the same way.The only way to stop the damage is for me to lose the weight i gained and then some more.

Why cant you just lose the weight?
Ahhh if only it was that easy! For the last few months I've gotten myself in a super bad cycle of eating super healthy and doing as much exercise as i can with my knee and then getting frustrated because i'm not losing the weight i should be and falling back off the wagon.I recently went back to the doctors to find out why i'm not losing weight the way i did in the past, and it appears there's no physical reason and that my body is just losing it super slowly this time.( though i have lost half a stone hurrah!)

What are you doing to lose the weight and help your mental health?
Currently i'm trying my hardest to eat healthily and exercise and as far as my mental health goes i'm trying to take up some of my old hobbies again like writing this blog and cross stitching.Slowly but surely ill become more comfortable with socializing and being around new people and situations.

What is your end goal?
My ideal weight is roughly 9st 9lbs but if i get down to that is totally different! generally id be quite happy just to be healthy and strong again and for my knee to stop hurting as much.That and all the babies i have in my life are growing up and i'd like to be able to keep up with them without getting out of breath.

This has been super hard for me to write as weight for me is an incredibly touchy issue but i feel that if people know why i am the way i am they may be a little more understanding.I also hope this means more people can feel they can discuss there issues with weight more openly and not feel like it's taboo.Next week ill also be back to doing weigh in Wednesday so you'll all be able to follow my journey again!